Advice from a small town girl

I’ve been reading again.

I can imagine some of you thinking, “Oh, no!”

But that won’t stop me.

A little background on my reading may be in order.

My mother was an elementary school teacher who believed that the ability to read was the key to everything. Success, happiness, everything. And her children learned to read.

The books I favored as a child featured animals and heroic children. Sometimes children and heroic animals. I would lose myself in the stories, and frequently got in trouble when I was so far gone I didn’t hear my mother call me.

As I grew older, the animals were replaced, first by cute boys then by sexy men. Ooh la la.

The occasional foray into real literature and/or non-fiction was quickly forgotten, because they did not transport me out of myself and into another person, place or time.

Over the past thirty years, though, that has changed. My tastes in reading have broadened to include history, biography, and, of course, self-help.

Back to today.

I recently finished reading “Women Food and God” by Geneen Roth. I was first introduced to Roth’s concepts nearly thirty years ago when I participated in a weight loss discussion group in Portland.

Roth’s ideas struck a chord with me back then, and still do. But as with any theory of personal change (I think I need to stop using the word “improvement”), one needs to “do the work” rather than just read about it.

Roth has written a number of books, and gives workshops and retreats as well.

I found her ideas pretty radical back when I first learned about them, and in some ways still do. But deep in my heart of hearts, I believe her.

My personal (not hers) synopsis of her theory is that we need to stop dieting. Stop thinking about good foods, bad foods, whether something we eat will end up as another fat glob on our bodies.

What I hear her saying is that we need to pay attention, not to the externals. Don’t eat with your head, don’t eat with your heart. Eat with your stomach.

Sounds simple, but for someone who has been an emotional eater for at least the past 45 years, perhaps easier said than done.

Roth provides not a diet plan but several (deceptively) simple eating guidelines, all of which scare the living daylights out of someone like me.

“Eat when you are hungry.”

Good grief. I’m not sure how to tell.

“Eat sitting down in a calm environment. This does not include the car.”

Think of the time you save eating in the car!

“Eat without distractions. Distractions include radio, television, newspapers, books, intense or anxiety-producing conversations or music.”

I don’t know how to eat without at least one, preferably several of those activities.

“Eat what your body wants.”

I don’t actually remember the last time I was in touch with what my body wants.

“Eat until you are satisfied.”

I’m so used to using food to stuff emotions down or to avoid something, I have no idea what satisfied feels like. I do know what stuffed feels like.

“Eat (with the intention of being) in full view of others.”

Well, of all of these, I can imagine that one putting a damper on my appetite!

“Eat with enjoyment, gusto and pleasure.”

I’ve felt guilty about eating for so long, I don’t think I can even imagine allowing myself to feel pleasure while eating.

This feels right.

I think it’s a lot harder than it sounds, but it feels right.

Of course, I can’t start until I’ve cleared a space on that dining room table.