Advice from a small town girl

Wow!

It's a whole new year!

Again.

Well, it's not actually a whole new year as I'm writing this, since my deadline is Monday, but I'm projecting a bit here, trying to sound like the me I think I'll be on Thursday, when you might be reading this.

That's right.

I'll still be me.

When I was a very young person, and even a not-so-young person, I still believed that if I tried hard enough, I could reinvent myself on an annual basis.

I don't believe those things anymore.

It's not that I don't believe I can change some aspects of myself.

I still believe that I can change habits. Behavior. Appearance, to a certain degree.

But my essential character has remained unchanged since I was pretty small.

I'm still stubborn.

I'm still independent.

I'm still pretty comfortable being by myself.

I'm still not so comfortable just being myself.

I still spend too much time with my nose in a book.

I still spend too little time getting up and moving around.

I still spend far too little time practicing. Anything.

I still have a tendency to retreat instead of engage in conflict.

I still avoid attempting lots of things because I fear failure.

In general, I still prefer the company of animals to that of people. (Please don't be offended.)

On the other hand, I don't lose my temper quite as easily. (I do still get mad, I just don't feel murderous very often anymore.)

I'm a little more patient.

I'm a fraction more kind.

I am occasionally able to think before I speak. Or write.

I've almost learned to accept that there are people who actually like me. And that there's not anything wrong with them for doing so.

I've learned to accept the fact that I'm not adopted.

And in light of all of this personal progress, I see no reason to change my approach this year.

I've reached an age now where it seems that it was just a couple of months ago that we ushered in 2012.

And I hope you'll pardon me when I say that 2013 just sounds scary. I keep thinking of that apocryphal "Chinese curse," the one that says "May you live in interesting times."

Let's hope they're not too interesting.

Happy New Year!