Advice from a Small Town Girl

Is your house all decorated for Halloween?

Mine is.

In fact, I’m thinking of charging admission to what could possibly be the scariest haunted house in the state.

Cobwebs drape from nearly every corner, complete with extra-large spiders. Slimy objects lurk in the refrigerator. There’s an obstacle course around the deck and back door. More cobwebs cover the houseplants on the kitchen windowsill, both dead and alive. Yet more drift artistically from the artifacts arranged above the cupboards. One room is completely empty, while another has three rooms worth of furniture crammed into it.

The laun...