Diary of a mad, fat, bipolar woman #6

By DYANNE DEERING

Can we talk for a minute about all of the new and exciting things that are going on in my life? I know what you’re going to say, “Dyanne, your life is already sooooo exciting.” Well, recently it got even more exciting.

In October, I was diagnosed as a type 2 diabetic. I know you are probably thinking, “but haven’t you always been, since you are so voluptuous?” This is a new diagnosis and it SUCKS!!

I have teetered on the border for many years and finally this year God said, “you know what Dyanne, I need you to shine a little light on diabetes.” So he gave me a healthy push over the edge into a huge world of change.

This is a hard thing for someone like me to live with. You see, as I have told you before, I am not one to eat on a regular basis and now I have to, at least three times a day. I can’t just grab something either. I have to consider everything I am putting into my mouth. I am not just a type 2 diabetic I am also gluten intolerant. My body does not process carbs or gluten the way that a normal person’s body would. It can all make my blood sugar spike as if I were eating a candy bar.

So I have opted to take a pill twice a day to try to help my body use its insulin the way that it is supposed to. But this is making me feel like I got hit by a Mac truck every day of the week. They think that maybe my blood sugar is getting too low, or I think my body is just in a general freak-out mode, because it is used to a high blood sugar. So, I feel worse now than I did when I had no idea that I was diabetic.

The next big change in my life is that I am more than likely dealing with perimenopause. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, this mad, fat, bipolar woman is quite possibly gonna get a little madder, in both meanings of the word. This fabulous thing that is occurring within me is giving me serious headaches, wonderful hot flashes and tremendous mood swings. If my husband doesn’t decide to divorce me now, I really have caught myself a prince.

I also have a 7-year-old daughter, whom I love very much. However, my patience with her is pretty much nil. I feel like the worst parent on the planet. Her little happy self will be excitedly bouncing off the walls, wanting to make cookies, wanting to hold her guinea pigs, and I am not having any of it. Dad gets home and I look at him and say “Mommy needs a vacation.” Then I shut the door to my quiet place.

I am sure that God has a plan for me and that he will help me through all of this. I know that he thinks I can handle it, because he doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle, but this has definitely been a hard couple of months for me. We will see if I survive, if my marriage survives and if my poor little baby can have any kind of a life.