Lincoln County candidates as Michael Scott quotes

If you read the headline of this column and first thought, “what in the world are they talking about,” we don’t blame you. Let us explain.

A good chunk of our staff was born in the dreaded millennial era, and sadly, many from this era have made the hit TV show “The Office” their entire personality. While we don’t claim to have suffered this setback, sometimes, a Michael Scott quote or two creeps into our minds in rather unhelpful situations. Take, for instance, the 2022 general election.

(Michael Scott, for those unaware, is the unhinged and clueless boss portrayed by Steve Carell at Dunder Mifflin Paper Company, the setting for “The Office.”)

As our slightly twisted way of showing our appreciation and recognition for the Lincoln County locals willing to put in the time, resources and effort to run for a county office aimed at serving the fine citizens here, we asked ourselves a question:

If each candidate running for a contested office said a Michael Scott quote while on the campaign trail that either reflected one of their positions, personalities or real-life statements, what quote would that be?

Our light-hearted, completely well-intended answers? They’re listed below.

And yes, all our writers have seen “The Office” all the way through. Multiple times.

And yes, Michael Scott does actually say all of these lines in the show.

Sheriff

Jeff Barden: I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.

Gabe Gants: I guess the attitude that I’ve tried to create here is that I’m a friend first and a boss second and probably an entertainer third.

Adam Johnson: I’m optimistic because every day I get a little more desperate.

Andy Manke: Am I a hero? I can’t really say, but yes.

Brian Telford: Do you think that doing alcohol is cool?

Treasurer

Pete Brickner: Sometimes I’ll start a sentence, and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.

Emily Lybbert Hansen: Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

Brad Sweet: They say on your deathbed you never wish you spent more time at the office — but I will.

Commissioner

Rob Coffman: Do I have a special someone? Well, yeah, of course. A bunch of ’em. My employees.

Jason Debord: I would not miss it for the world. But if something else came up, I would definitely not go.

BONUS: The Reardan-Edwall School District capital levy: I have made some empty promises in my life but, hands down, that was the most generous.