Serving Lincoln County for more than a century!
Serving Lincoln County for more than a century!
There are many ways to start a day, but locking myself out of my house with my car keys inside, before work, was not the ideal choice.
Yet, I stood outside in the brisk morning air, watching my life choices flash before my eyes as I realized my door was locked, and so was my fate for the foreseeable future.
It all started so innocently. I had taken Winnie outside, as responsible pet owners do. I locked the door behind me, because, you know, safety first.
And then, just a few moments later, my brain finally caught up with my actions: my house key? Inside. My car key? Inside.
My one and only emergency spare key? Conveniently located with my trusted keyholder…who, at that very moment, was gallivanting two miles from the Idaho border. Perfect.
After a solid minute of standing there looking at my door like it had personally betrayed me, I did what any rational person would do—I panicked slightly, then knocked on my neighbor’s door.
She graciously let me in and allowed me to attempt a backdoor mission through her house and onto my back balcony. Unfortunately, my dedication to home security meant that every single entry point was locked up tighter than my budget after payday.
If nothing else, at least I could now confirm that my house was officially burglar-proof. Too bad that included me.
When I ran out of options, I called my friend, who has an extensive law enforcement background, because if anyone knew how to break into a house (legally, of course), it was him.
“Alright, listen up,” he said with the confidence of someone who has definitely broken into places for a living (again, legally, I assume). “Do you have a card on you?”
A card? Why yes, I did! But not just any card—I selected my casino rewards card because, let’s be honest, if there’s one card in my wallet that’s built for excessive wear and tear, it’s that one.
I followed my friend’s instructions, attempting to jimmy the door open with all the skill and grace of a raccoon trying to open a trash can. Sadly, I lacked the necessary technique. Enter my neighbor, who took one look at my struggle, plucked the card from my hands, and popped the door open like she was cracking open a soda can.
Moral of the story: I should absolutely stay on her good side.
To make matters worse this embarrassing endeavor is forever preserved on my home (indoor and outdoor) security system.
Not only do I have unbecoming video footage of myself trying to break into my house, I have actual proof that I would make a terrible burglar.
After a long and unnecessarily dramatic day, I did what any responsible (and now paranoid) person would do—I went straight to my go-to Agricultural University, the Odessa Hardware store, and had an emergency key made.
In addition to the key I made, I now have a sticky note inside my house that reads in all caps “Hey doofus, KEYS!”
Because if there’s one lesson I learned, it’s that I never want to star in this comedy of errors again.
— Olivia Harnack is the editor at the Lincoln County Record-Times and is learning the ropes of rural life, one hay bale and farm dog at a time. You can reach her at 509-725-0101.
Olivia Harnack is the award-winning managing editor/photographer/videographer/columnist at the Lincoln County Record-Times, with offices in both Davenport and Odessa, Wash. She is a University of Idaho graduate and a U.S. Army National Guardsman.
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